Ramblings

Well, I'm still in the hospital. The pain I had been experiencing started to come back as the pain killer wore off and so I decided I would hang out here for one more day.

Plus there was steak for dinner. But that was just a silver lining. I am missing my boys and am anxious to be home.

I got up to shower today and really looked in the mirror. Not the prettiest picture I have seen in a while. My skin is all freckled from the sun last week, I have dark rings under my eyes, my face has decided to break out again. I was slightly depressed about it, my skin has never been a strong point. And then my hair, well we won't go there. But it did not add much to the picture. I took a gloriously warm shower, worked out some kinks, climbed back into bed and was trying to amuse myself by browsing the Internet when I stumbled across a blog that has been mentioned to me a couple of times but I have never looked at. I accidentally closed the window and can't remember how I found it and can't remember the name (sorry) but it was about a burn victim. She had posted a few pictures of herself. And I felt suddenly so ashamed for worrying about freckly, pimply skin. Its amazing how one thing can seem so important to you and the next, not so much. It just needed to be put in perspective. Skin is just not worthy of worrying about that much, there are so many other important things that need my thoughts and attention.

I think sometimes I am incredibly stubborn in learning important lessons. I have been trying so hard to look at the positive side of being sick and have truly been humbled and felt like I have learnt a lot from this experience. I have learnt more about how my body works, I got to listen to doctors evaluating people in the ER (kinda like a fun mini field trip for me), I got to think about what kind of nurse/doctor I want to be...what things the medical staff did that was helpful, how they handled different situations, how grateful I was for them helping me through the rough patches and how I could be helpful to someone in that way when the opportunity comes. I have felt an increase in my patience as it is taking a while for me to get better. I haven't had to cook or clean, I have been able to sleep as much as I want, the baby is doing so great, this illness hasn't affected him at all, which is huge because infections like these can cause miscarriages. The list goes on.

But I think no matter how hard I try to keep life in perspective, experiences like these always help me to reevaluate what is most important. And I need that. For example, I didn't get some sewing projects done this week and I didn't clean my house. I didn't take a pile of stuff to goodwill, I didn't clean out my car, or finish organizing my closet, or do laundry. Those things need to be taken care of. But even though those things didn't happen life is still happening and is still good. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't stress so much about those things....

Sorry to bore you with the ramblings of a only somewhat coherent pregnant lady, but those are my thoughts for the day :-)